Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Help

Finally, a topic arises that I am passionate enough about that I need to write about it.

I am not good at asking for help. That has become abundantly clear to me since having Miles. There are a number of reasons why I’m not good at asking for help.
1. I’m not good at asking for anything. I’m a fairly self-sufficient individual.
2. My help-asking timing generally sucks.
3. Once I get the courage to ask for help, I often get let down.
There’s much more to it than just those three points, but that’s the basics.

Now, before I go any further, allow me to do this.

Mom and Dad – Thank you for everything, every day of my life. I would be more than lost without you.

Krista and Bob – Thank you for your unfailing love and support.

Glenn and Sherri – You guys have made life so much easier for me over the last couple of years. Thank you both so much. Sherri, you’ve become a real sister to me. An EXTRA thank you to you.

Now, without going into lengthy detail, I need child care for Miles starting at the end of August. I called today to find out if I am eligible for Child Care Subsidy. As a single, working mother, I thought I might have a chance.

I don’t. I am not eligible. Why am I not eligible? Because I’m too freakin’ smart, responsible and caring, and have a loving, supporting family. I have too much money in savings to be eligible for child care support. Yes, because I moved in with my parents because I couldn’t afford the rent charges in this area, and instead started saving up money for a down-payment on a house, because I don’t want to go into debt paying rent and become a social assistance case and yet another burden to my province and country, there is no help available to me. By all means, there are thousands of people out there who need the assistance far more than me, and please, PLEASE, assist them first! But where is the assistance for people like me? Why do I get shafted because I have a good job that I’ve stayed at for a long time, and because I have family who ensures I don’t end up on the street? I don’t need to have the fees completely covered. I don’t even need to have half of the fees covered. But a little bit of something would be better than nothing!

To quote a friend, “Oh you told the truth? It's terrible how you get punished for being a
responsible person. If you had pissed away all your money recklessly they would reward you by subsidizing you.” Yeah. No kidding.

My mom asked me a good question. If I went out now and bought myself a house, and basically over-extended myself monetarily, then would I be eligible for child care custody? My guess is yes. What is yours? Isn’t that a ridiculous scenario?

As a society, we definitely need to help those who are less fortunate. But shouldn’t we also help the “Average Jane” to keep her from joining the less fortunate?

Just my thoughts. I’m done.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I sometimes feel like I'm getting a 'raw deal' by being responsible, telling the truth, etc.

We make sacrifices to live within our means. I see others wasting their money, and yet still seem better off then we are. Your friend's quote is all too true!

We lucked out with Brantford house prices 4 years ago. I've seen Cambridge house prices, and I can't imagine having to buy there, because of the market.

I see people benefitting from stretching the truth or not being completely 'above board', and it upsets me.

In the end though, I couldn't live with myself being dishonest!

I hope you find something that works out for you.

Just my thoughts, to go along with yours!

Tracy said...

I'm sure I won't find the cheapest or most cost beneficial solution out there, but I'll eventually come up with something!

Thanks Lynn.

Krista said...

I agree with Mom, yes you would end up eligible for assistance if you jumped into a mortgage before you were ready. Pretty dumb thing to do, but I suppose many people do it because they know that the government will be there to help them make ends meet. It's better to stay "above board" like Lynn said, and live honourably.

Tracy said...

Lindsay, I really do hope you get somewhere with these people. I guess they need to draw a line somewhere on when they start and stop funding, but it sure isn't always very realistic. Just barely squeaking by and counting your pennies several times daily surely can't be considered an enviable way to live! I can understand why I'm not eligible for subsidy. Penalizing you for a (probably slight) bonus and teensy raise just isn't right. I know how that works too. Good luck Lindsay. Bug the crap out of them. :)

kathryn said...

it's tough to be in the middle or bottom of the middle. . you don't have enough, yet you have 'too much' to qualify for much-needed assistance!! bah!!

So sorry Tracy that you're feeling frustrated, which I can certainly understand, you too Lindsay. .

kathryn said...

it's defeating to think that one would be better off nursing from the social assistance 'teat' rather than be independent and gainfully employed. . how whacked is that?!

Tracy said...

Good work Lindsay. You must be much relieved.

So, subsidy or not, Miles is going into daycare in September. It's a choice I feel comfortable with, and I think he's going to just love it once he gets used to it. If after a while I realize that I can't afford to send my child to daycare, then I will look for an alternative. For now, this is what we're doing, and I'm looking forward to it!

Tracy said...

Lindsay, is that $250 a week? The daycare is charging $158 per week for full-time full days for a toddler. For preschool (30 months - 6 years) they charge $144 per week.

Tracy said...

Lindsay, it sounds like we're both paying out at pretty much the same rate! I guess we both made good choices then. :)

BTW - I keep passing you on 24 in the mornings! It's when I'm on my way to work, probably around 8:10 or so. Yes, I'm usually late. I'm in a little greenish-yellow KIA